roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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