they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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