Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
