I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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