try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
