I think I died a long time ago.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
