if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
