do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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