There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Sorry about my life...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
