My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize