No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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