Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
