I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
