do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
