There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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