i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm always down for nudity.
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