Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
