I'm going to jail i love you
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
im about as happy as oj after his trial
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
