dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
