college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I love having hate sex.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
