He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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