I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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