i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
