her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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