My Higher Power is John Stamos
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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