well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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