I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
