that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He passed out mid-signature
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
