i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i think i have two assholes
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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