This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
areolas are like halos for boobs.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize