We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
