is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
