Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I want a musical about memes.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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