dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
