the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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