i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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