I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
