so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize