I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
