yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
