Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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