3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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