In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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