butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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