oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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