Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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