so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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