Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
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