Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize