Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize