Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
