He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
