It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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