I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
