just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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