No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i wish my penis had a tongue
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
