I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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