Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
