I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
As shirtless as possible
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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