does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
