The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
