I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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