Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
