If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
