Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Randomize
